The Saga Continues

When the home study gets completed it then has to go to an approval committee. That was supposed to be approved yesterday, but now they're saying next week. In the meantime a couple things have happened on our end. First, I met someone who had a negative experience with the agency we were considering using. We are grateful for the information and will be taking it into consideration as we finalize where to apply. Secondly, since we are going to pursue partnering with the local agency that completed our home study, we need to do our profile. It sounds like a case on Law & Order SVU. Unfortunately, it includes scrapbooking or something like that. Any of you that know me know that's not a doable thing. I have written the birth mom letter (that in and of itself was ridiculously surreal). How do you tell a mother about yourself in a way to allow her to trust that you are capable to raise her baby? How do we say thank you for allowing us to even be considered to do that? I can't even begin to understand a birth mom's state of mind, the courage it would take to carry a child with the understanding that they will not be with you. I did the best I could and now I have to put pictures to the words and put it on some overpriced, oversized paper with special glue to preserve the memories. Gotta be honest, not looking forward to it and not really sure where to begin.
With that said, the highlight of this week happened today. First, I was able to share a meal this morning with a beautiful woman who helps me put my life into perspective and appreciate the people God's planted me here with. Thank you!! The second thing gives me goosebumps in just typing it. The same friend that lent her crib to me was talking to her neighbor and long story short, she has a brand new infant carrier with base that she could sell for cash, but has agreed to give to us! This is one of the things that is giving me hope that this adoption is actually happening. I have never experienced something that seems so out of reach in one moment and then becomes completely real the next. Talk about surreal! I am so grateful for the way this friend has chose to invest in this process and my gratitude continues as I feel our relationship blossom as well. (Insert tears here). I've done a lot of boo-hooing over the past couple days, some tears selfish, some hot with the sting of frustration, but today they are sweet like a fresh spring raindrop-full of gratitude and emotion as if God sprinkled me as His oar plunged into the water. Thank you for paddling and for the refreshing splash and I pray that I don't grab the oars from you as we wait....