I'm in Love

For all the skeptics out there....this thing called adoption tugs at heart strings that I didn't even know I had. As she is snoring on my chest in the borrowed Bjorn and I'm in the poorly lit, ever humid, Texas business center, my heart is swollen with new mother joy and love. Our brown eyed girl has now smiled at me (possibly gas, but who really knows), she's peed on me, spit up on me, and best of all cried until I picked her up and instantly stopped when she was snuggled into my neck. I no longer feel as if I'm babysitting someone else's child. I know this cry is for me. It's addictive, it's sweet, it's genuine. I'm her mommy. Could I have asked for a better Mother's Day gift? I keep telling her that over and over again. Phrases like Hi, it's mommy. I'm your mommy. Esther Marley is mommy's baby girl. Does my stomach turn when I think about the upcoming 6 months until finalization? I'd be lying if I said no. The growth for me is in knowing that deep down everyone I hold dear is on borrowed time. Every day that I get to look in your eyes, her eyes, my families and friends eyes is a gift. I know that busyness and routine is something that distracts us all from that reality. I am in this thing moment to moment. Feeling all of it, regretting none of it, loving God's awesomeness, and trusting His goodness and plans. What a way to live. I wish I could figure out how to upload pictures from this computer. I will post some as soon as we get home. No word on that as of yet...