Information Niblets

No news is good news is not a cliche for the process of adoption. I sometimes wonder if we're on a desert island and any information is like gold, like finding a Wilson soccer ball to dress up like a person and talk to. So much so that I've gotten 2 emails from the social worker and practically danced an Irish jig from seeing her name come up in my inbox. The diametric differences between pregnancy and this is the unknowns. When you're pregnant, you know you've been officially approved (whether you like it or not) to have this baby. Adoption takes 15 third party opinions to get a halfway ok that you might be, possibly, may be a candidate for a birth mom. That in itself is exhausting. We aren't even to the point where we're in front of birth mom's yet. Well, that's not entirely true. Our home study is complete except for the background checks and our social worker wants to know if we want to be presented to any mom's working with their agency. If we had the $20k today, we'd have a baby by the end of this month. We don't and that's no mistake. So, my answer to her was no, that we are waiting to apply to the program in Michigan. I thought that answer was going to be harder to give than it was. I can feel myself growing, listening, committing. I thought that I would want to go to every bank in the Salt Lake Valley to rack up as many loans as possible to get the immediate gratification I thought I wanted. I didn't do that and I slept better because of it. Not to say if a case comes along her way with a payment plan and a birthmom that asks for a short chubby redhead for a mom to her baby boy and I'm the only that can meet those requirements, so they'll give me a 50% discount and oh, the husband has to be at least six feet tall, an ex-mormon, and computer savy, genius like in his computer abilities. I know that we're a shoe in. That's also not happening. So, we wait and we hold on to these niblets of information and we do the work, like finishing the books titled I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla and Black Baby White Hands a view from the crib and try to find the balance between excitement and not getting our hopes up. May the background check processing company have an explosion of growth in their employee division so much so that they process checks in half the time! That would be great!!! Reality check, back to earth and we wait.