Aaarrgghhh!

Today is off. I'm feeling VERY vulnerable and unsure and TONS of doubts keep creeping in my head. I am trying to pray them out and my bible study this week was on anxiety and worrying and it sounded so easy in print, but to live it is really testing me. My day got thrown off when Rory stayed home sick, we went to the dr, she has strep. It seems like someone in our house always has strep this winter! It's tiring and I am looking at the pile of work still left to do before Monday and I'm so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin. Please hold-Rory's shouting for a pan. Ok, so I'm back. She's on the toilet with a pan on her lap, moaning. I just want to go back to bed and wake up with everyone well, a clean, organized house, and no stinkin' fears or complications, and oh yeah, a million dollars in our bank account would be awesome....then, I think, look at what I do have and that's where the focus needs to be. I burst into tears when I was driving home from the dr, the song Cinderella came on by Steven Curtis Chapman, I think? If anyone has daughters and that song doesn't bring a tear, they're the tin man from Wizard of Oz! So, with that I'm going to go clean up barf and pray that I get some kind of burst of energy to get done what I need to. I think I'm avoiding it on purpose. BTW-we heard back from the original Haiti program today and the orphanage has approved our application. The funds are a huge roadblock with this particular agency over going through the other one that we were able to partner with on funding. So, now I'm confused as to infant versus older child and domestic versus Haiti again. We're playing it by ear and trying to focus on HSM (Home Study Monday).