Not Pushing It

This is something I'm trying REALLY hard not to do. I am practicing going through my days, focusing on the needs of that day, since I am well aware that is all I'm given. I want to feel the joy and excitement of this process. Right now, I'm at a state of ho-hum. I spoke with the social worker today and lo and behold, no background checks awaiting her return. She left a msg for her contact in licensing and I really do hope we know something soon. Last night I went on the National Photolisting of children waiting to be adopted. They were mostly older kids and those with special needs. I just had to see, had to feel connected somehow to the process we're in. The pictures of them, although somewhat torturing, helped to remind me of what it is we're doing. Right now there's a huge disconnect for me. There are no fetal kicks, no ultrasounds, just a wait. I am definitely looking forward to being in a program with an agency, knowing they are partnering with us to help find a birthmom to match with. Until then, joy in the moment, walk the process, and I am doing my best to not push things. I'm walking it, but not alone. And we wait.