3 Months Old!

If you have ever read any of my posts on 3's, today is a special something as Esther turns 3 months old! When we met her in muggy Houston, she was 3 weeks and 3 days old. When I turned on this blog, it said I had 33 posts up until this one...it just goes on and on. So, in celebration of yet another milestone for Baby Esther, I got a laborious lesson on the ole Kodak and am sharing her home grown photo shoot. We entitled the shoot the "watchutalkin about Willis"/Jermaine Dupree, Pretty in pink, I love my hand, Look at all this hair set! We celebrated this special day with 4 bottles and an upgrade to 3 month Avent holes. We also bought teether rings and I can NOT believe we have teething rings in our freezer once again!

Esther's First BBQ

Two of the women who really came beside me while we prayed for our adoption through the swirls and curly q's of Texas, and then bringing her home have been Cassie and Traci. Cassie and her husband, Todd, opened their home last Sunday afternoon to have all of our families over for some great food and fellowship! Thank you McWhorter's we had a great time and that was officially Esther's first bbq! Note the cute bathing suit:)

1st Post Placement Visit

Yesterday at 7:50am, as we're bustling around to get ready, our ding dong rings for our first post-placement visit for Esther. I open the door to find this very warm, welcoming social worker who was hesitant to walk in, but after finding her place in an Ikea chair in the living room, next to the newly doused with dog hair (again) rug (I was appalled over the hair), she got to meet my pajama clad older girls and talk with our family about what the last 6 weeks have been like for us all. She was there to confirm that all was well in our little abode and thankfully, she had her form, asked the questions, and even though Chloe farted inappropriately about 5 times during the interview, I think all went well. She commented that she had never had a family so organized in giving her the info she needed, that was all Dr. Pete's doing in his fantastic growth/appointment form from her 2 month well check. So, we have one more to do in September/October and then finalization. I just got goosebumps typing that-finalization. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers in this....I'm still trying to figure out the new camera to post pix:)

First Word

Ok, this is ridiculous and we have never experienced this with our other 2 girls, but three of us were in the room as Esther was playing on her mat with the animals on it. James and I heard Rory talking to her, saying "Say lion Esther, say zebra Esther, etc." I kid you not, by the 3rd time Rory said "Say zebra Esther", we heard this zeeeebra out of our little monkey. We all looked at each other, shocked, thinking we had misheard. So, Rory, in all her 6 and a half year old wisdom, decided not to leave it to interpretation and continued with, "Say zebra Esther" and out squeaks this little zeeeebra!!!! Oh my goodness! Rory squealed, James and I looked at each other and my mind went instantly to this after school special I saw in junior high where this African American girl living in the ghetto was a genius and she had to fight her way out of poverty to get into college and I then blurted out, we have a ghetto genius!! I know it's dumb, but holy cow, she said Zebra for goodness sakes!!! I know I should be disappointed since it wasn't mama or dada, but to be honest I'm impressed to the point of awe that our little 2 month old is this tuned in, especially to her ever caring, always bouncing, blondie big sister! Little things....first words.....big blessings in small packages....

Two Months Old

Esther Marley is 2 months old today. She's 22 inches and over 10 pounds, a petite version of a former identity. To celebrate this special day, we visited the pediatrician for the required pokings (please see Something Unexpected for more info). Two months is big for us. We're pot committed (poker term) and we have gone "all in" (another poker term) and then some. She is now smiling and cooing. She does this little cry when she's not done being goo-gooed over and wants you to look back at her. She is adored by her two older sisters and has everyone she meets in awe over her curly hair and gorgeous skin tone. Her eyes bear into my soul and I can see hers in their reflection. She has an old southern womanness about her, deep, touching, knowing. It's intense and our journey as of yet makes me wonder how I got picked to enjoy something so wonderful.
Another blessing arrived today in the form of a super duty umbrella stroller. We are now covered for all stages of her stroller needs and both people who provided the strollers have no idea how they truly blessed our family-THANK YOU!
Esther's currently in a post-immunization tylenol sleep and I'm letting her sleep through a scheduled feeding in the name of restoring her poor little needle invaded body! Normally though she's clockwork on the feedings, taking a full 4 ounces, sometimes more if needed. She is also sleeping through the night. A statement I don't want to write lightly for fear I will jinx it, but Babywise seems to have once again come through for our newest little one.
We will be scheduling post-placement visits with the agency and I will be gathering more pictures and another letter for the birth mom as well. Adoption is like living in heaven and on earth at the same time. So much is surreal and blessings are so very real while at the same time the reality of the paperwork, social workers, birth mom, etc weigh on my heart and mind. I pray for her birth mom whenever I think of her or tell our story.
May her heart and mind be at peace tonight as she says goodnight to our baby girl. I have to say goodnight as well for the reality of painful shots has just awoken and Queen Esther is telling her dad all about it and I don't want to miss it:)
Night night all....

Manifestation of God's Love

This phrase blurted out of my mouth yesterday in reference to Esther's arrival. It seems like this adoption process has been one little God gift after the other with Esther being at the middle. Each time I think we are done experiencing the blessings He has for us, something else happens. Today, for instance, I received a beautiful email from a friend who just happens to have a slightly used girl patterned stroller that she has offered to give us. James and I had just talked about our needs for her, in starting from scratch, and we are already so grateful for the crib, the infant car seat, the borrowed bjorn, the meals, the gifts of clothes, bibs, socks, etc and now this stroller. It seems a little too good to be true, to feel the provisions of Gods love in the flesh. I remember in college, scraping by just to buy Ramen and lemon cookies from Food 4 Less and the gratitude to be able to pay our rent and eat, but it seemed stressful. That is not the case in the current provisions, it's oddly peaceful and freeing. The way that the people around us have looked in their hearts to not only come alongside us in our excitement, but actually offer things we have needs for is beyond my comprehension.
Beyond the physical things that we need being provided for, what I've really enjoyed the most is hearing those around me open up by sharing their desires for adoption. What a wonderful connection to experience with someone in having this type of passion in common!
The manifestation of God's love....we all see it in different things when we listen to the nudging of our hearts. Mine, for today, comes in the form of a beautiful baby girl that we've been given the privilege of having and holding and I truly hope that all who meet us have their passions, whatever they might be, ignited or re-ignited so they can experience this beautiful thing called love.

One Week Later

So we've been home for a week now and it's been a little crazy. As I'm typing this I'm watching my mom rock Esther in the chair across from me and she just said to me, I've never held a baby who sang herself to sleep. Esther makes this cooing sound as if she has a lullaby tape going on in her little head that she is humming. Self-soothing, resilient, adorable baby Esther. It makes me wonder what her short time with her birth mom was like for her or maybe this is how she was born. Either way it's very different from the ever demanding, much like my personality older girls and to be honest, it's a welcomed reprieve that is making it especially wonderful to bond to this new life and therefore causing me to be more emotional, a weird feeling like post-partumy with gratitude overwhelming me every time I look at her. This journey is like one I've never known and I'm beginning to feel empowered in my knowing I am walking it...and not walking it numb. I'm feeling every bit of it, not running from any of it, not hiding, not bitter by the lack of sleep or by having to "eat in shifts" as James calls it. My life is again not my own (not that it really ever has been for the last 8 years), but somehow I thought I had reclaimed myself recently and what I'm now realizing is that I was tending to not embrace the fun that each of the older girls ages offered. That is not the case now. I am not wishing us onto a more independent stage, thinking things like I can't wait until she can walk, potty train, drive, etc. For that I am grateful at the fortitude in being present, for today, for this moment. Is that maturity? Am I too tired to think beyond the next feeding? OR is it that the newness hasn't worn off yet? Whatever it is, I don't care. I want time to freeze and imprint the picture of Rory & Chloe's 4 big blue eyes staring at me as I stare into the eyes our little brown eyed girl. It's amazing, it's questions like when will she crawl mom? Can she have a tortilla chip? Why doesn't Esther have to eat salad? I LOVE IT! It makes me laugh to have our girls embrace this new life in their own ways. Are they adjusting? Somewhat, some moments more than others. Expectations of what their role in our growing family is come out in comments like, I used to be the baby, then Rory came, and now Esther. I get it. It's a lot. It's also about looking beyond our own selfish desires (at whatever age) and stretching to make accomodations for something new. What I know is that each one of us, even with the stretching and growth we are forced to do in this experience, that somehow it has brought an energy of excitement and hope to our home. Beyond that of birthing a new baby, this is a more unique sense of God's got this one, entirely. Get on your knees Susan, eyes on Me, focus, I got this one. Focus.....on priorities, on new life, on lives already here. Adoption, the gift that keeps on giving, beyond all expectations.